Maintaining Your Mental Health at Conferences

I’ve been attending developer conferences for 12+ years now, and I can honestly say, they have changed my career. On the other hand, though, attending a developer conference can be pretty stressful. You’re surrounded by people you mostly don’t know, and it’s easy to feel intimidated or overwhelmed. Let’s talk about how to get value from a conference while also maintaining your mental health.

Find Your Crew

Although I consider myself to be fairly social, just like anyone else, I have a hard time in environments where I don’t know anyone. Luckily, I’ve been in the community for many years, so typically, I have a handful of people I know at events that I attend. Having those connections makes conferences much more approachable.

So, the first piece of advice I have is to find your crew, your people. This could be one or two people, or a group of 10 - whatever works for you. Maybe it’s someone you’ve talked to on Twitter? Met in the lunch line the first day? Attended a talk or workshop with? Met awkwardly in the elevator? However it happens, find someone (or a small group) that you have something in common with.

Having that person or small group you can lean on makes everything easier:

  • You’ll always have someone to go to talks with
  • Lunch becomes less awkward
  • You have built-in support for all activities

Having a crew can help keep you in your comfort zone. Approachable a table of strangers is much easier when you have someone to do it with. It’s a lot harder to navigate a conference alone.

For what it’s worth, I’ve gotten pretty comfortable at events. If you and I are ever at an event together, and you need someone, just let me know!

Tips for Finding Your People

Start engaging beforehand.

  • Follow conference-related posts on Twitter and LinkedIn
  • Comment on people’s posts
  • Look for speakers or attendees you’re interested in meeting

After a little bit of thought and preparation, it’s a little easier to approach people and say things like:

“Hey, I saw your post about XYZ…” or “I noticed you’re speaking about this topic. It’s really interesting to me because…”. Having an initial talking point can help ease that introduction!

Do Your Research

At many conferences, it’s completely overwhelming with how many people, talks, and activities there are. To help with that, researching what to expect and what you want to get out of a conference can help reduce stress. Things to look into:

  • sponsor companies
  • speaker and talk topics
  • after-hour activities
  • Talks being given

By looking itno those details, you can start to get a plan together on where you want to spend your time. Your plan should be based on what you want to get out of the conference. Are you:

  • Looking for a job?
  • Networking?
  • Seeking partnerships?
  • Trying to learn a specific technology?

Having a plan helps you feel less overwhelmed when you arrive.

Be Comfortable Missing Out

For the majority of my career, I had big FOMO at conferences. I didn’t want to miss out on any opportunity to network, get to know people, etc. I wanted to spend every second and every ounce of energy maximizing my ROI (that sounds clichè 😅). Unfortunately, this would often come at the expense of prioritizing myself.

Oen big thing I’ve learned over the years is that it’s okay to not make it to every talk. Not make it to each dinner, happy hour, or after party. Trying to do everything can be exhausting. Here are some ways to prioritize your health:

  1. Go to bed earlier and wake up earlier
  2. Make time for exercise or a walk
  3. Have a relaxed breakfast in the morning instead of rushing

By prioritizing your overall health, both mental and physical, you’ll be in a better state to make the most of the conference.

Have Grace for Yourself

Everyone has different social limits. If you can only handle an hour or two surrounded by people before needing alone time, that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to step away from the conference and:

  • Go offsite to eat lunch
  • Skip talks to take a nap
  • Watch TV or read a book in your room

Remember, if you’re stressed and overwhelmed, it will show in your interactions. Recognize your limits and learn to prioritize yourself. We all have different levels of social tolerance. Find your own balance between getting the most out of the conference and respecting your social meter. Your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

Recap: Taking Care of Yourself at Conferences

  1. Prioritize yourself - take time away from people when needed
  2. Do your research to have a game plan
  3. Give yourself grace - it’s okay if you can’t go 24/7
  4. Respect your social limits
  5. Take breaks and come back refreshed

Hopefully these tips give you a little inspiration for a more successful next conference!